Bike riding with babies!

 This weekend we took the babies on a bike ride.  Thanks to Lauren at Hobo Mama, I found these amazing kangaroo bike seats.  The boys got to sit up high, watch the world speed by, and feel the breeze.  They loving biking!

Sadly, my arms are too short to reach around a baby on a bike seat.
Happily, Papaw was willing to ride with Jack while Moviedad took Gus.

Babies really can sleep anywhere!

The Evolution of Sleep Part 2

Like any parent, Moviedad and I have been in search of a quality night's sleep-- for everyone in our little family.  It wasn't easy, but it's been getting better.  But like any good plan, it needs tweaked every now and again.  You can read The Evolution of Sleep Part 1 here.  

When Gus and Jack were ten months old, I thought we had finally figured out the perfect sleeping arrangement.  We were all in the same bed.  I thought surely a king sized mattress on the floor would fit our sleeping needs for years to come.  I was wrong.  I hadn't taken into account the fact that Gus is a steamroller.  

There were nights that putting this kid to sleep resembled a wrestling match more than anything else.  Moviedad would take Jack to the other room, and sing and dance him to sleep.  Gus and I would square off in the bed.  He would start off nursing laying down along side me.  Then, his feet would start moving and he's arch his back just so... and he'd end up laying on his back with his feet up by my head, still nursing.  Ouch.  Then he would pop off, and beeline it for the window.  He would knock and press his little cheek against the cold panes.  Before I knew it, he had zoomed over to nurse for another five seconds.  Then he'd roll away.  I hate the idea of restraining my boys, especially when they're doing something as nurturing as nursing.  So I let him roll.  Then I pulled him back.  And he nursed for five seconds and rolled away again.  This continued on for as long as 40 minutes sometimes.

Gus fights sleep like a samurai.  He still does, but only at naptime now.  At bedtime he nurses and falls asleep with blessed alacrity.    

Ready to steamroll!

So Gus the sleepy steamroller, in bed next to his brother, was a recipe for wakefulness.  We tried Gus next to me.  He rolled over Jack in an effort to snuggle next to his daddy's warmth.  We started Gus off next to Moviedad.  He rolled over Jack in an effort to get to me to nurse.  We tried having Jack between us, and Gus sleeping on top of my side, nestled in a perfect position to nurse and snuggle all night.  That night he rolled off of me and onto Jack.  Gus was the only one who stayed asleep through all of this.  Jack, Moviedad, and I woke up a lot.  It was not a restful way to spend a night.  

Enter the crib mattress.  We put it on the floor next to our mattress, stuffed couch cushions and quilts between it and the closet doors, and put Gus on it.  He and Jack spent the first ten minutes happily exploring the skritching sound their footy pajamas made on the bare mattress.  Then, we put a pad and sheet on it, and voila!  Extended sleeping space.  

I nursed the boys like normal, they slept a few hours stretched out on the big bed, Moviedad and I did our adult-time thing, and when we came to bed we gently transferred Gus onto the little mattress.  

And he slept straight through for seven hours.

I sleep on the side of the bed next to the little mattress, within arm's reach of the baby down there.  I can still hear his breathing and cover him when it gets cold.  But Gus really enjoys his extra space.  And the rest of us enjoy the extra sleep.  

We've taken to alternating which baby sleeps in his own space.  But both of them know exactly where I am when they need me at night.  I'll often wake up to a little face peeping over the body pillow divider before climbing up next to me to nurse.  And sometimes I'll wake up to find both babies in the big bed.

    

It all depends on the need and the night.  

Mothers' Day

When I was small, I knew a mother's love

to be deep

and sure

and easy.

Now that I am a mother, I understand 

it is boundless,

and exhilarating,

and all-consuming.

Happy Mother's Day

to the woman who is my mother

and the babies who made me one.

The scariest thing I did today

Today, for the first time since before the boys were born, I did a handstand in yoga class.  I've been working on my inversions for awhile, and adding the handstand back into my practice was the ultimate goal.

I did it!

I attribute most of my ability to do so today to muscle memory.  My body remembered how to flip upside down (against the wall-- I have yet to brave an inversion in the middle of the room!) and hold the pose.  The other half of the inversion equation is convincing yourself that you won't fall.  It's all in your mind, the fear of being upside down, holding your own weight.  So, to get over the mind block, I told myself "This is not the scariest thing I've done today."

And it wasn't.  What could be scarier than planting your hands on your mat and flipping your feet over your head?  Going to the OB/GYN.

I've been working through my birth trauma.  I've been going to yoga to regain my strength and health.  I've also been attending EMDR therapy, and part of my work there is to start going to doctors again.  I had a flashback to my c-section while getting a mole removed and one at the dentist's office when the overhead light was pulled into my line of sight.  While getting my lady parts checked was very high on my list of priorities, I kept putting if off, until today..

Part of what got me back in the stirrups was my therapist's urging, and part of it was reading Betsy's blog.  Betsy advocates for preventative women's health care by telling her story.

The appointment itself was pretty uneventful, and I experienced fear but no flashbacks.  I cried, but only a little.  I breathed deeply, and left feeling a great sense of relief.

I'm still afraid of hospitals, and doctors by association, but I have proven to myself that I am strong enough to go when I need to.  Just like I'm strong enough to do a handstand in yoga.

Wordless Wednesday: Our favorite park

Our favorite park has a little house, with toddler-height door knobs.  We love opening and closing doors!

Feeding by Example

Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how they advocate for healthy, gentle parenting choices compassionately. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
***


There are certain things in my life that have always been givens.  Breastfeeding is one of those.  My mom nursed my siblings and me, so of course I would nurse my children.  Doesn't everyone?  I quickly found out the answer to that assumption was no.  In fact, not everyone considers breastfeeding normal.  This is sad.  But it struck me as slightly amazing to discover that not everyone in my own family considered breastfeeding to be normal.

But that's changing now, thanks to "the family babies."  

J and Gus.  There are no pictures of me from this time
because I literally went topless for the first two months.
It was way easier.

When I was pregnant, my mom took my five year old cousin to the store to pick up some baby items.  J wanted to know why she didn't get any bottles.  Mom explained that some mommies fed their babies milk from their breasts and didn't need bottles.  J was amazed, and slightly weirded out.  She was adopted and had never known anything other than bottles as a way to feed babies.  To my aunt's credit, she followed J's lead and they dived into a journey of learning that is still ongoing.  They checked out books about breastfeeding and watched some tv shows where it was featured.  The real-life lessons came when J and my aunt came to visit when the boys were first born.  J was fascinated, watching me nurse the boys.  She still draws pictures of breast feeding, and talks about it with the nonchalance of the initiated.  

J is also the one who decided that Gus and Jack were "the family babies."  They belong to all of us. 

Nursing Jack while walking around a park.

It was this insistence of inclusion that gave me the courage to really and truly parent my babies in front of my extended family.  In the early days, since it was all we really did, this was mainly nursing .  I nursed Gus and Jack during rollicking parties (every get together is an event with my family!) and quiet moments at my parents' house.  I nursed them at the beach, at a backyard luau, and at the park.  I still nurse them at family dinners on Sundays and when our apartment is crowded with my siblings and cousins.  

My aunt sharing a moment with Jack.

This used to present a problem for my older male cousins.  They were embarrassed, and a little confused.  I'm certain they had never seen a functional breast before.  But they learned by example, both mine and the older generation's, that it was normal.  No one made snarky comments, no one questioned my choices.  I am very grateful for this simple acceptance from my family.  Now, no one bats an eye when I pull up my top and unclip my nursing bra.  I think it's their unmitigated love for my boys that allows them to see the need behind the nursing.  

I know for certain that my sister will breastfeed her children. And I fervently hope my brother's fiancée and any future families my cousins build will do so, too.  I know that they will at least have had an example to go by, and that they know where to come with any questions.  

After all, I've been feeding by example.  

I'm on the far right, nursing Gus during our family beach-at-sunset picture.

***
Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Natural Parenting Advocacy by Example — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction uses her blog, Twitter and Facebook as her natural parenting soapbox.
• You Catch More Flies With Honey — When it comes to natural parenting advice, Kate of The Guavalicious Life believes you catch more flies with honey.
• From the Heart — Patti at Jazzy Mama searches her heart for an appropriate response when she learns that someone she respects wants his baby to cry-it-out.
• I Offer the Truth — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares the hard truths to inspire parents in making changes and fully appreciating the parenting experience.
• Advocating or Just Opinionated? — Momma Jorje discusses how to draw the line between advocating compassionately and being just plain opinionated. It can be quite a fine line.
• Compassionate Advocacy — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting writes about how to discuss topics you are passionate about with people who don't share your views.
• Heiny Helpers: Sharing Cloth Love — Heiny Helpers is guest posting on Natural Parents Network to share how they are providing cloth diapers and cloth diapering support to low income families.
• Struggling with Advocacy — April of McApril still struggles to determine how strongly she should advocate for her causes, but still loves to show her love for her parenting choices to those who would like to listen.
• Compassionate Advocacy Through Blogging (AKA –Why I Blog) — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how both blogging and day-to-day life give her opportunities to compassionately advocate for natural parenting practices.
• A Letter to *Those* Parents — Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares how to write an informed yet respectful reply to those parents — you know, the ones who don't parent the way you do.
• Why I Am Not A Homebirth Advocate — Olivia at Write About Birth is coming out: she is a homebirth mom, but not a homebirth advocate. One size does not fit all – but choice is something we can all advocate for!
• Why I Open My Big Mouth — Wolfmother from Fabulous Mama Chronicles reflects on why she is passionate about sharing parenting resources.
• Watching and Wearing — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life advocates the joys of babywearing simply by living life in a small college town.
• Compassionate Advocacy . . . That's The Way I Do It — Amyables at Toddler in Tow describes how she's learned to forsake judgment and channel her social energy to spread the "good news" of natural parenting through interaction and shared experiences.
• Compelling without repelling — Lauren at Hobo Mama cringes when she thinks of the obnoxious way she used to berate people into seeing her point of view.
• I Am the Change — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro describes a recent awakening where she realized exactly how to advocate for natural parenting.
• Public Displays of Compassion — The Accidental Natural Mama recounts an emotional trip to the grocery store and the importance of staying calm and compassionate in the storm of toddler emotions.
• I will not hide behind my persona — Suzi Leigh at Attached at the Boob discusses the benefits of being honest and compassionate on the internet.
• Choosing My Words — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares why she started her blog and why she continues to blog despite an increasingly hectic schedule.
• Honour the Child :: Compassionate Advocacy in the Classroom — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree shares her experience of being a gentle and compassionate parent — with other people's children — as a classroom volunteer in her daughter's senior kindergarten room.
• Inspired by the Great Divide (and Hoping to Inspire) — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis shares her thoughts on navigating the "great divide" through gently teaching and being teachable.
• Introverted Advocacy — CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy shares how she advocates for gentle parenting, even though she is about as introverted as one can be.
• The Three R's of Effective and Gentle Advocacy — Ana at Pandamoly explains how "The Three R's" can yield consistent results and endless inspiration to those in need of some change.
• Passionate and Compassionate: How do We do It? — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares the importance of understanding your motivation for advocacy.
• Sharing the love — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine talks about how she shares the love and spreads the word.
• What Frank Said — Nada at miniMOMist has a good friend named Frank. She uses his famous saying to demonstrate how much natural parenting has benefited her and her family.
• Baby Sling Carriers Make Great Compassionate Advocacy Tools — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey shared her babywearing knowledge — and her sling — with a new mom.
• Everyday Superheroes — Who needs Superman when we have a community of compassionate advocates?! Dionna at Code Name: Mama believes that our community of gentle bloggers are the true superheroes.
• Words of advice: compassionately advocating for my parenting choices — MrsH at Fleeting Moments waits to give advice until she's been asked, resulting in fewer advocacy moments but very high responsiveness from parents all over the spectrum of parenting approaches.
• Peaceful Parenting — Peaceful parenting shows at Living Peacefully with Children with an atypical comment from a stranger.
• Speaking for birth — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud soul-searches about how she can advocate for natural birth without causing offense.
• Gentle is as Gentle Does — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares how she is gently advocating her parenting style.
• Walking on Air — Rachael at The Variegated Life wants you to know that she has no idea what she's doing — and it's a gift.
• Parenting with my head, my heart, and my gut — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares her thoughts on being a compassionate advocate of natural parenting as a blogger.
• At Peace With the World — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry talks about being an advocate for peaceful parenting at 10,000 feet.
• Putting a public face on "holistic" — Being public about her convictions is a must for Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama, but it takes some delicacy.
• Just Be; Just Do. — Amy at Anktangle believes strongly about her parenting methods, and also that the way to get people to take notice is to simply live her life and parent the best she knows how.
• One Parent at a Time... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that advocating for Natural Parenting is best accomplished by walking the walk.
• Self-compassion — We're great at caring for and supporting others —from our kiddos to other mamas — but Lisa at Gems of Delight shares a post about treating ourselves with that same sense of compassion.
• Using Montessori Principles to Advocate Natural Parenting — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells how she uses Montessori principles to be a compassionate advocate for natural parenting.
• Advocacy? Me? — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers that by "just doing her thing," she may be advocating for natural parenting.
• Feeding by Example — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip shares her experience of being the first one of her generation to parent.
• Compassionate Consumerism — Erica at ChildOrganics encourages her children to be compassionate consumers and discusses the benefits of buying local and fair trade products.
• The Importance of Advocating Compassionately — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood acts as a compassionate advocate by sharing information with many in the hopes of reaching a few.
• Some Thoughts on Gentle Discipline — Darcel at The Mahogany Way shares her thoughts and some tips on Gentle Discipline.
• Compassionate Advocacy: Sharing Resources, Spreading the Love — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle shares how her passion for making natural choices in pregnancy, birth, and parenting have supported others in Dominica and beyond.
• A journey to compassion and connection — Jessica at Instead of Institutions shares her journey from know-it-all to authentic advocacy.
• Advocacy Through Openness, Respect, and Understanding — Melissa at The New Mommy Files describes her view on belief, and how it has shaped the way she advocates for gentle parenting choices.
• Why I'm not an advocate for Natural Parenting — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog delivers the shocking news that, after 10 years of being a mum, she is NOT an advocate for natural parenting!
• Natural Love Creates Natural Happiness — A picture is worth a thousand words, but how about a smile, or a giggle, or a gaze? Jessica at Cloth Diapering Mama’s kids are extremely social and their natural happiness is very obvious.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy — Even in the progressive SF Bay Area, Lily at Witch Mom finds she must defend some of her parenting choices.
• A Tale of Four Milky Mamas — In this post The ArtsyMama shares how she has found ways to repay her childhood friend for the gift of milk.
• don't tell me what to do — Pecky at benny and bex demonstrates compassionate advocacy through leading by example.

Wordless Wednesday: Music lesson