I looked around, unsure at where to even start. I had come in for baby yogurt and grapes. I was in a regular grocery store... you know, the kind that is so big you could get lost inside of it. I ran through a litany of things I could bring home.
Cookies? Ice cream? Candy?
Then I stopped myself with a shake. What?! No, I'm not going to buy them junk food!
I took some deep breaths and thought about what was going on inside my head. I had been at work that morning, away from the boys. I had been at a tutoring job that evening, away from the boys. I was on my way home to see them, and I wanted to show up with something to give them. Something to "prove" my love to them.
I'm very glad I took the time to stop and collect my wild thoughts. I'm sure I've unthinkingly given into the urge before, but on this particular night I was able to think it through. I wonder where it came from. I wonder why I felt it.
In the end, I brushed it off, bought the yogurt and grapes, and went home.
As it turns out, I did give the boys something special that night. It was something they really really REALLY wanted. It showed them how much I love them.
When I got home, I nursed my boys.
Gus and Jack are going through a hat phase. They love those hats! |