Give them something special

I was zipping through the grocery store one evening last week when I was sidelined by an incredibly strong urge.  I really really REALLY wanted to bring home something special for Gus and Jack.

I looked around, unsure at where to even start.  I had come in for baby yogurt and grapes.  I was in a regular grocery store... you know, the kind that is so big you could get lost inside of it.  I ran through a litany of things I could bring home.

Cookies?  Ice cream?  Candy?

Then I stopped myself with a shake.  What?!  No, I'm not going to buy them junk food!

I took some deep breaths and thought about what was going on inside my head.  I had been at work that morning, away from the boys.  I had been at a tutoring job that evening, away from the boys.  I was on my way home to see them, and I wanted to show up with something to give them.  Something to "prove" my love to them.

I'm very glad I took the time to stop and collect my wild thoughts.  I'm sure I've unthinkingly given into the urge before, but on this particular night I was able to think it through.  I wonder where it came from.  I wonder why I felt it.

In the end, I brushed it off, bought the yogurt and grapes, and went home.

As it turns out, I did give the boys something special that night.  It was something they really really REALLY wanted.  It showed them how much I love them.

When I got home, I nursed my boys.

Gus and Jack are going through a hat phase.  They love those hats!

Wordless Wednesday: Preemies

In celebration of preemie week at Natural Parents Network.  Jack and Gus, born at 34 weeks.

I'm not technically a SAHM anymore

I was a really good teacher.  I am a really good mama.  I am not so good at being both.

I'm losing my status as a stay at home mom this week because I've started working outside the home again.  I'm a preschool teacher.  At the preschool where my mother is the director.  And only on the days Gus and Jack are attending that preschool.  (It's a family affair.)

It shouldn't be that difficult.  I've got a nice setup, I know.  But doing ANYthing with twins takes some planning and creativity.  Today I was at school with the boys for two and a half hours.  I got maybe 30 minutes worth of work done.  The rest of the time I spent feeding the boys lunch, playing outside with them, and chatting with people who wanted to see the boys.  Then I came home and it took me three hours to type up a welcome packet that normally would have taken me twenty minutes.  Sheesh.

So to all you mamas out there, especially twin-mamas, who work full time outside the home:  Kudos to you.  You have my honest and heartfelt admiration.

Does the dual role of mother and worker get easier with time?

Does it look like I'm going to let you get any work done, mama?

Transformations

New parents juggling squirmy squally babies.

I always knew that my children would go through wondrous transformations as they grew and learned and developed as human beings.  And I also knew, albeit vaguely, that Moviedad and I would go through some pretty awesome changes as we grow into our roles as parents.  As far as my own mother was concerned, I knew she would slip into the role of Nana as comfortably as into a soft beloved bathrobe.  

But what I wasn't expecting were the transformations I've been witnessing in the rest of my family members.

The pace of my father's life has slowed enough between his children being babies and the arrival of his grandbabies; he notices and appreciates and comments on the smallest of changes in them.  He made an observation the other day as Gus and Jack were signing and babbling that made my heart swell with pride and validation.  "You can really tell how much time Mo spends with these boys."  Thank you for noticing, Dad!   

Great Grampa is happy to be holding baby Jack!

My grandfather, in his new role as great-grampa, held a baby for the first time!  He had never held any of his children or grandchildren before they were around one year old.  (This bit of news was staggering to me because I always assumed that loving, involved, present man was as comfortable around infants as he was around us kids.) And yet, here he is, holding Jack at their baptism when they were but four months old.  

My sister has learned to juggle two babies as easily as any seasoned mom of twins.  My brother-in-law can now change diapers like a... well, a journeyman maybe.  Not quite a pro, but he's getting there!  

My brother, who was once too cool for family functions, will now call me multiple times on Sundays to know when we're going to arrive at Family Dinner because he and my almost-sister-in-law want to play with the boys.

Big Jack showing the babies where the corn bags go.

And my cousins!  My cousins who haven't really been around babies very much at all absolutely adore Gus and Jack.  They fly the babies to the moon, and hold them ever so patiently while the boys explore the light switches.  They chase them around the yard, or laughingly pause the game of cornhole while curious small and feet commandeer the boards and bags. They graciously give up hats or shoes for the amusement of the babies,  and all sorts of other small acts of play that speak volumes.

I don't know if Gus and Jack will ever truly know the impact their simple existence has had on their extended family.  They have transformed us into better people, just by virtue of being.  

That's love.

That's family.

Brotherly love!

  

  

The Power of Please

Not too long ago, Jack started screaming when he wanted something and I wasn't moving fast enough.  These were full-on screams from a very passionate little person who really really REALLY wanted more pears.  As badly as I wanted to stop the screaming, I also didn't want to just give into it.  I figured there must be a better way.  My guy was simply communicating to me his wants in the only way he knew how.  So the secret was to give him a better way.

I began teaching Jack and Gus the sign for "please".  The ASL sign is to make small circles on your chest with an open hand.  Small circles presented a problem for 15 month olds, so we modified it to patting with an open hand.  It turns out that the chest part is a bit of a stretch right now, too, so the boys will pat their bellies with varying degrees of enthusiasm when they're asking "please".  

Their first signed phrases include please.  "More please"  "Milk please" and "Food please" are some of them.  They have learned the power of please.  In fact, Moviedad and I will sign it to the babies often when we are asking something of them.   When Gus started standing up in his chair during meals I worried he'd fall over.  Thus begins our delightful dance.  It goes like this:  

Gus stands up.

Mama says and signs "Sit down, please."

Gus does so with a mischievous look.

Mama signs and says "Thank you, Gus."

Gus beams and stands up again.  So does Jack.

Repeat.  

I know some people might think this is conditioning the boys to perform for praise.  And maybe that's the case.  But there is also safe limit-testing going on, and the forming of a wonderful habit.  

Jack and Gus are learning to sit down whenever and wherever I say "Sit down please".  This has kept them from stepping off a playground step that was too high for them, slipping by me while I was putting shoes on the other one, and from running headlong into each other during a rowdy game of chase at Nana's house. 

The power of please has also come into play when Gus and Jack want something from me.  Today we were wrestling when they both decided they wanted to nurse.  There I was, sitting on the floor, watching my babies advance on me saying "na-na" (their word for nursing) and signing please frantically and with great joy.  How could I resist?  We had an impromptu nursing session right then and there.  

Ah, the power of please...

"More please!"

To the day...

Disclaimer:  This post might contain what some would consider too much information.  But I don't think so.  It seems there are no boundaries to what women will talk about-- or write about-- when it comes to birthin', babies, and bodies.  I'm writing about the return of my fertility just in case another nursing twin-mama is curious.

My time of the month.  Aunt Flo.  My visitor.  Period.  Menstruation.  Pain in the ass.  Call it whatever nickname you want, it's not fun.

My period came howling back 17 months to the day after my boys were born.  I've been without a period for a little over 26 months total.  I haven't missed it.  I'm trying to frame it in a positive light.  "It's the return of my fertility!"  Yay.  I'm not trying to get pregnant, so that one's not working for me.  "It's a time of restfulness and a little self-pampering."  Yeah, that's not cutting it either;  I have 17 month old twins.  "My body is cleaning itself out, cleansing, renewing."  Ok, that's great but why must this cleansing HURT so much?!

I'm cranky.  And crampy.

I should have known this was coming, though.  Gus and Jack are nursing just as frequently during the day-- up to 10 times-- but their night nursings have dropped off considerably.  Mom had mentioned a few times that the return of menstruation usually coincides with night weaning.  And last night, both boys slept through the night!  They woke around 6 to nurse, but went back to sleep for another delicious 3.5 hours.  I haven't slept in until 9:30 in forever.  It was lovely.  

Then I woke up to a familiar ache in my lower abdomen, with pain referring down to my knees.  Yep, I know that causes THAT.  Sure enough, today was the day.  I sent Moviedad out to the drugstore to get some ibuprofen.  He came back with the painkillers and chocolate.  I love that man.   

I didn't notice any change in my milk supply.  My nipple didn't become extra-sensitive.  I didn't even have any PMS symptoms, unless you count one very bad day earlier this week when I lost my cool and yelled at the boys.  (But I don't think that was related to hormones, I think it was just a really bad day.)

I used to have insanely rough periods, with pain that made me pass out a few times in high school.  In fact, when my brother who was in kindergarten at the time didn't feel like going to school on a given morning, he would tell Mom "I have the cramps".  He figured it worked for me, he might as well give it a try!

I ended up on birth control pills, which helped immensely.  I felt regulated.  I could deal with four periods a year.  I chugged along happily for nine years, knowing what I was missing when it came to pain and inconvenience but completely ignorant of how clouded I truly was.

When I got off the pills-- after a "detox" of about two months where all my hormone systems were scarily out of whack-- it felt like I had woken up.  My head felt clearer.  My emotional highs and lows were more tolerable.  I felt good.  A couple of months after that I was pregnant.

And now that I'm getting back into the menstrual swing of things, even though I detest the pain that will probably show up every month or so, I will not be taking any more hormone pills.

I'll manage my way with a clear head, two amazing babies, and a husband who loves me enough to bring home some chocolate.  

The best reasons EVER to slack on blog posting

Camping, swimming, boating, going to the zoo, playing in buckets... it's been a busy summer so far!  One of my goals was to be more active and more present in my children's lives.  So that meant moving the laptop out of easy access range and keeping it closed more often.  It's less time for blogging, but more time for Jack and Gus.  A good trade for sure!

Camping with no pants is fun!

Yep, I'm darn cute... and I know it!

First carousel ride.  

Up the stairs and down the slide!

Babies in a bucket!

Jack is ready to go fishing!  Gus is less sure...

Relaxing on the pontoon boat at Grammy and Grampy's lake house.

Evening boat ride.

Mama and Jack.

Gus and Moviedad.