Dear Family,
Hello! I'm so glad I got to see you this Sunday. Dinner was fabulous, so filling and warm. The conversation was as lively and loud as usual. There is one small issue I'd like to address, though.
I understand that you want to hold my babies. I understand that you see them so rarely, and they are getting so big, and they are so stinkin' cute. I get that, I truly do.
However, I need you to understand that there are a few adults with whom my babies have developed secure, firm attachments. Namely Mama, Daddy, Auntie K, Uncle C, Nana, and Papaw. So if one of those adults is holding onto a baby (especially after a crying jag, or during a particularly fussy time), it is for the sake of the baby, not to keep him away from you. Sometimes beside a familiar face and within known arms is the safest place to survey the world, especially when it's crowded and new.
So please don't be upset with me when I won't let you hold a baby after he's just woken from a nap, or when he's needing some Mama-time after I've been away for awhile. He needs me, or Daddy, or Auntie K for now. There will be time for you to hold him later, when he's ready.
Thank you for understanding. It's so much easier explaining this to you than a nine-month-old.
Love,
Mama Mo
That's so sweet. The other night I was part of a discussion that focused on secure attachment and how babies who are attached to their moms (as they should be) will not be thrilled to be passed around from person to person. They will often cry when not within their moms reach... now, this is a generalization of course. I mean, no baby should ALWAYS cry when not with their mom (or other primary caregiver) but when they do, it's a good sign of attachment. Just thought I'd share ;)
ReplyDeleteThat's what I kept telling myself after the family dinner that prompted this letter... it's a sign of good attachment. I've already spoken with some family members, and the holidays will be better, I'm sure!
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